I am going to take my parenting “expert” hat off and put my mom of a three-year-old hat on. I’ve been feeling under the weather, and although I’m a glass-half-full kind of gal, started to write these to make myself laugh. I hope you have some chuckles too. And, yes, these did actually happen.

-Murphy’s Law for Parents of Three-Year-Olds-

You will cut the wrong end of the freezie, stir the yogourt the wrong waybreak the banana or use the wrong coloured cup.

The day you are late for an important appointment is the day you will unbuckle the car seat, as you always do, and your three-year-old will shriek like he is being stabbed and refuse to get out.

The timer will beep to take your very expensive tenderloin steak off the BBQ at the same time your three-year-old yells frantically from the bathroom that he is done pooping and needs your help.

The amount of time your three-year-old spends on his bike without training wheels is inversely related to how much time it took you to find the tools and get the training wheels off.

The moment you finally sit down at the end of the day, and finally decide on a movie to watch, your three-year-old will slink into the living room saying, “I can’t sleep.”

You will cut the grilled cheese sandwich the wrong way. And put the ketchup in the wrong spot.

The morning of the scheduled weekend away by YOURSELF that you have been waiting for all year, you will discover you have a fever—that your three-year-old had days before.

The milk will get spilled, so you might as well just leave the paper towel holder on the table.

The words, “I want to do it!” go with “Uh-oh.”

The moment you high-five yourself for getting your three-year-old out the door dressed, bladder emptied, tummy filled, teeth cleaned ON TIME is the moment you realize you didn’t eat breakfast.

You will walk out of the house with your shirt on inside-out. A few times. Or may even get to work and realize you still have your pyjamas on. This is a picture of me returning home from work–still in my PJs!


If you take the wagon, he will want to walk. If you don’t take the wagon, he will refuse to walk.

The day your three-year-old discovers where the scissors are kept is the day you leave your well-thought out to-do list on the kitchen table.

The night you forget to put the mattress cover on the bed is the night your three-year-old will pee so fiercely, you’d swear an adult did it.

When you finally feel confident to wear more expensive pieces of clothing around the kids, your three-year-old will manage to get himself some yogurt and want a big hug for his accomplishment.

Your three-year-old’s favourite pair of shorts—that he must wear everyday—will be white. Well, at first, anyway.

The first time you try leaving your child inside to go out and do some backyard weeding, he will A. go out the front door, B. poop on the front lawn, and C. be discovered by your husband who just happens to come home early that day. By the way, in between fits of laughter, he said, “I love that happened on your watch!”


What can you add to this list? Feel free to post your Murphy-isms in the comments or on my facebook page.