I knew last night’s bedtime was going to be tricky when I spotted my youngest son jumping back and forth across the room from his bed to his brother’s. I was right: it took him quite a long time to settle down. I don’t blame him, though; it is pretty hard to get to sleep [...]
Before having children, I didn’t realize that it was possible to cut toast the “wrong” way, or “break” the banana, prematurely stir the yogurt, or use the incorrect colour of plate. But parents of toddlers know that this is a THING—actually, quite a stressful thing. I remember the last time I mistakenly put butter on [...]
When children do the things they naturally do, like push limits, ignore instructions, explore beyond their ability, or act inappropriately, it is our job as parents to redirect them to the behaviour that is acceptable. While disciplining children, it is important for parents, teachers, and coaches to understand that how they do this redirection or [...]
We all have parenting moments we regret. The other day I was hard on my son and felt very badly about my behaviour. Even though we may have the tools to do so, calming down when our kids are melting down, sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons, can feel impossible to do. It is important to [...]
A study published in the BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, suggests that mothers have a higher chance of experiencing depressive symptoms four years after giving birth than in the first twelve months after their child is born. I’m not surprised. I certainly found myself collapsing into tears considerably more when my children [...]
It can be incredibly hard to stay calm when our own children hit us. Both our instinctual physical defense system and intense emotions can get triggered in a flash! I remember the period when one of my children hit me almost every day; I became scared of him, trying to steer clear of where he [...]
When couples share their exciting news about having a baby, part of me cheers for them, and part of me sends them a quiet wish. This wish is to hang in there, because life after a baby is incredibly different than before. I see articles about how to increase your connection when babies arrive, or [...]
You may have heard of the parenting technique called when/ then. It's where you encourage cooperation by engaging the front-brain with calm, helpful instructions like this: "When I am finished drying these dishes, then I'll be able to help you with the puzzle." (Instead of "just a second!") There are many variations of the when/ then: [...]
I was listening to a mother tell me how much of a “jerk” her five-year-old was. She explained that he was “out to get her,” and “trying to make her life miserable.” With a deep sigh, she told me she didn’t want to be with her son, which made her very sad. “I mean, I [...]
Here is a parenting technique to try when your child’s body is taken over by his or her fight-or-flight reaction (I call that being run by the “back-brain”). Often when this happens, aggressiveness, shouting, and even violence occur. As with most techniques I suggest, it begins with our ability to stay calm and keep our [...]
Andrea Loewen Nair is a counsellor, parenting educator and international media parenting expert based in London, Ontario, Canada. Her therapy background helps parents to understand at a deeper level what to do when kids drift away, behaviour goes wild, buttons are pushed and old negative self-talk gets too loud.
Her goal is to let parents know they are not alone in their struggles and to provide practical help that makes big positive changes. Parenting can be very hard—and Andrea wants to help.
